40758
24 May 13 at 8 pm

(Source: xslow, via grandoptimist)

Period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
Period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
Period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
Period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
Period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
Period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
Period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
Period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
Period: Yell at a puppy.
me: time for bed
stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
me: ok